This week's Wednesday Wonders is part of a blog blitz for
After the Flowers Die
by Melanie Delorme
Melanie Delorme was a content English teacher, wife, mother, sister and
friend when without warning she gained the title of bereaved parent when her
eight-year-old son Garrett was accidentally killed in a hunting accident. Her
road to healing brought her to write her first book. Melanie is involved with
her local chapter of Compassionate Friends and is passionate about offering
hope to other bereaved parents. She is currently living on a ranch in Southern
Saskatchewan with her husband, Gerry, and their two children.
Connect with the Author here:
After the Flowers Die: A Handbook of Heartache, Hope and Healing After Losing a child by Author Melanie Delorme
"Is it
possible to survive the loss of a child?
Even though
you might be feeling that the answer to this question is no, never, absolutely
not; be assured that not only is it possible for you to survive, but you are
also strong enough to thrive after this devastating tragedy.
The loss of
a child creates a gaping hole in a parent’s heart that seems unbearable and the
only people who truly understand your pain are other bereaved parents. Melanie
is one of those parents and, in After the Flowers Die, she offers
encouragement, hope and honest suggestions for how you can once again
experience joy.
This book is
written in an easy to read A to Z format and covers topics that many parents
may experience, such as anger, bitterness, birthdays, Christmas, hope, signs,
and more. If you have lost a child and are feeling hurt and lost, this book is
a great starting point for you to acknowledge your loss, celebrate your child’s
life and find hope.
Are you
ready to begin your journey towards healing?"
Snippet:
Anger
is such a dangerous emotion to embrace, and even though it does not rear its
head without cause, too often we forget that we have the power to control it.
Every time I wanted to scream at someone, it was warranted—in my mind. However,
what would it have gained me? Would it have made me feel better? Maybe for a
minute. But unless it brought my son back, it would not have made me truly
happy, and to be the source of another person's hurt was not going to make me
feel better.
I know a mother whose child was Idned by a reckless driver
who failed to stop at a stop sign. This mother spent three years living in a
state of rage. She attended every court hearing the driver faced, insisting
that he be jailed for life. She wrote letters to her government officials
demanding that he never receive bail, and she spoke of nothing else. The courts
deemed this particular accident to be just that—an accident, and the man spent
no time in jail. We can all understand her outrage, but having that man spend
the rest of his life in jail was not going to take away her agony; it was not
going to bring her daughter back. Furthermore, that man was also going to spend
the rest of his life hurting and coping with his guilt.
Anger becomes dangerous when we choose to take this emotion
with us on our daily journey. The bottom line is this: the more time you spend
angry, the less time you will spend grieving and the further away it will take
you from your memories and the further away you will be from acceptance.
So why isn't anger higher on the
list than acceptance? Well 
obviously, because my book would no longer be alphabetical.
But seriously, accept that you may be angry. Allow yourself to be
angry—temporarily. It will be the acceptance of your anger that will allow you
to deal with it in a healthy or even practical manner. Consider taking some
action to alleviate your anger. Throw something. Punch something. Scream in
your car. Cry in your bedroom. Perhaps one of these will make you feel better,
or perhaps you need a bigger outlet for your anger.
obviously, because my book would no longer be alphabetical.
But seriously, accept that you may be angry. Allow yourself to be
angry—temporarily. It will be the acceptance of your anger that will allow you
to deal with it in a healthy or even practical manner. Consider taking some
action to alleviate your anger. Throw something. Punch something. Scream in
your car. Cry in your bedroom. Perhaps one of these will make you feel better,
or perhaps you need a bigger outlet for your anger.
Have you ever heard of Candy Lightner? She was
so outraged when her daughter, Cari, was killed by a drunk driver in 1980 that
she organized Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). I It doesn't get
much more practical than that! I'm not saying you need to become the founder of
a new organization, but perhaps you can join an existing one or simply share
your anger with others who have had similar experiences.
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